I got this forward today about the words women use in (potential) arguments and what they really mean. For any engineers in relationships, even if this is made up, it’s always wise to be aware of potential problems/hazards. It’s called a Risk Assessment in the Safety Department.
“Lads – this information may one day save your life. Memorise it.
Ladies – I thought it was a fairly accurate assessment.
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ .. that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid (if they remember the terminology).
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true!!!”
I’ve never done it, but I do know of a couple who met at work, got married and still work together. (Well, they will when she gets back from maternity leave…) One female engineer I’ve worked with in the past went through, on the one project:
- one of my subcontractor personnel (let them do their friggin’ work!)
- a leading hand
- a supervisor
- an engineer
- not me (b!tch) – i was her shoulder to cry on, but I’m glad it wasn’t me in the end, given the list above (plus i’m not like that anyway)
She was VERY high maintenance.
But I have pashed a temp at a Christmas party once (when it moved to the nightclubs one year). That was my most adventurous venture insofar as hooking up with a colleague. But I knew she liked me and someone else had told me that as well on a separate occassion. And it was a rare in that I wasn’t driving that night. Unfortunately for me, I found out she kissed a couple of other people that night before me (meh, it was one of the handful of pashes I’ve had in this life so far – a late bloomer).
I could never be one of those site engineers that work away for weeks on end and blow it all on alcohol and hookers. You people in the office would be AMAZED at the sh!t that happens on site. Married men cheating on their wives back home. Boyfriends cheating on girlfriends. And it works both ways, some female engineers I’ve respected turn out to be nothing but a disappointment in that regard, jumping on from one person to the next and lapping up all the attention. Life in dongas, casual stories of them walking in on male coworkers showering in their donga, “accidentally” seeing their male coworker’s “donga” etc etc
"Kiss Me I'm A Project Engineer" Women's T-shirt
Sometimes I think bugger it, everyone is doing it but then I come to my senses. I’m waiting for marriage and I realise that chances are I’ll never find a woman in the same boat, but I’m still hopeful. But that doesn’t mean there ain’t no talent in the office I wouldn’t like to get to know better! Man, I missed Casual Fridays on the terrace when I was working away. On the bright side though I have met some wonderful career women who still have their head on their shoulders.
Did I just digress? This was meant to be a post on people always talking and gossiping about dating coworkers. We love to gossip. And in secret we’re jealous because we wish our respective work crushes liked us that way too. But in the real boring world, we need to maintain professionalism (there’s that word again) and we shouldn’t be seen trying to pick up or gossip on work time. We’re there to work and it’s not a dating agency. You’re not paid to flirt. These days, you’re paid to look busy when there is not enough work going around and if you stay awake while you look busy, you might just get bonus points. But a pay rise? Fat chance of that being considered again this year.
By the way, your Boss knows more than they let on.
And your IT Department tracks every website you visit.
(Your lunch break is over. Get back to work. Sorry for making the link above in Big Red Font. I just realised you’re probably reading this at work! Oops!)
