Entries Tagged 'office life' ↓
July 31st, 2009 — office life
I work in an open plan office environment. Not too far away is a biggish man I don’t work with. He regularly makes phone calls on speakerphone. No, correction – he ALWAYS uses speakerphone.
He called his wife today (or she called him) about something. It was a private conversation, yet the entire floor could practically hear it. Here’s how I documented the event via email with someone sitting nearby who I shall name “Babe”:
Babe:
Why the feck would you have a private conversation on speaker???
Me:
EVERY time he uses the phone I ask myself the same question.
Never heard such long pauses either…
I was waiting to hear some of those phrases annoyed women use.
Babe:
I’d like to use a couple of phrases on him.
It’s so rude in an open plan office. It makes you sound like a pompous prat.
Me:
I “overheard” it’s his last day today anyway.
I got a muffin yesterday, so I’ll let it slide.
[regurgitating the conversation we heard on the phone]
Wife: “When are you coming home?”
Biggish man: *pause for 10 minutes, then ignore the question while wife asks another*
Wife: “Do you know the difference between…” [something about types of drills]
Biggish man: *pause for what seemed like 2 hours*
Wife: “It’s ok to say no”…
She must talk to the wall most of the time.
Babe:
Hehe!
Thank God. Glad we won’t have to hear his life story on speaker next week.
And I bet she has no idea that we all hear everything she says. What if she said something really personal or inappropriate on day??
Me:
Something really personal or inappropriate like:
“What are you wearing?”
“Is that Jimmy sitting next to you now? He stinks”
“You really should shower daily to get rid of that rash”
“I played bingo today”
Babe:
All of the above
SpeakerPhone Ryan
At least get yourself a Grandstream GXV-3000 Video Phone as a courtesy. That way, the person on the other end can see you’re on freakin’ speakerphone!
July 13th, 2009 — office life, relationships
I’ve never done it, but I do know of a couple who met at work, got married and still work together. (Well, they will when she gets back from maternity leave…) One female engineer I’ve worked with in the past went through, on the one project:
- one of my subcontractor personnel (let them do their friggin’ work!)
- a leading hand
- a supervisor
- an engineer
- not me (b!tch) – i was her shoulder to cry on, but I’m glad it wasn’t me in the end, given the list above (plus i’m not like that anyway)
She was VERY high maintenance.
But I have pashed a temp at a Christmas party once (when it moved to the nightclubs one year). That was my most adventurous venture insofar as hooking up with a colleague. But I knew she liked me and someone else had told me that as well on a separate occassion. And it was a rare in that I wasn’t driving that night. Unfortunately for me, I found out she kissed a couple of other people that night before me (meh, it was one of the handful of pashes I’ve had in this life so far – a late bloomer).
I could never be one of those site engineers that work away for weeks on end and blow it all on alcohol and hookers. You people in the office would be AMAZED at the sh!t that happens on site. Married men cheating on their wives back home. Boyfriends cheating on girlfriends. And it works both ways, some female engineers I’ve respected turn out to be nothing but a disappointment in that regard, jumping on from one person to the next and lapping up all the attention. Life in dongas, casual stories of them walking in on male coworkers showering in their donga, “accidentally” seeing their male coworker’s “donga” etc etc
"Kiss Me I'm A Project Engineer" Women's T-shirt
Sometimes I think bugger it, everyone is doing it but then I come to my senses. I’m waiting for marriage and I realise that chances are I’ll never find a woman in the same boat, but I’m still hopeful. But that doesn’t mean there ain’t no talent in the office I wouldn’t like to get to know better! Man, I missed Casual Fridays on the terrace when I was working away. On the bright side though I have met some wonderful career women who still have their head on their shoulders.
Did I just digress? This was meant to be a post on people always talking and gossiping about dating coworkers. We love to gossip. And in secret we’re jealous because we wish our respective work crushes liked us that way too. But in the real boring world, we need to maintain professionalism (there’s that word again) and we shouldn’t be seen trying to pick up or gossip on work time. We’re there to work and it’s not a dating agency. You’re not paid to flirt. These days, you’re paid to look busy when there is not enough work going around and if you stay awake while you look busy, you might just get bonus points. But a pay rise? Fat chance of that being considered again this year.
By the way, your Boss knows more than they let on.
And your IT Department tracks every website you visit.
(Your lunch break is over. Get back to work. Sorry for making the link above in Big Red Font. I just realised you’re probably reading this at work! Oops!)
June 25th, 2009 — office life
You know, currently things are getting pretty darn slow in the office I’m in. It’s a massive change for a project engineer to move from a project site back into the office in town. I’ve noticed a few small differences-
On site:
- fast paced
- high sense of urgency
- very productive
- more responsibility
- get things done
In the office:
- slower than a snail’s pace
- sense of urgency relatively low
- struggle to stay awake
- less outcome oriented
- less accountability
- things get done… whenever
Imagine my chagrin! It’s like driving your brand new ferrari straight into a gridlock! Needless to say I’m really struggling to stay awake during the day. I spend a hour at lunch time just walking around the city to get some fresh air.
A Project Engineer’s Tips On Staying Awake In The Office
> Try to reduce the amount of coffee you drink… go for dried fruit and nut snacks. It can boost your energy without the sugar crash after that unsustainable peak. Maybe try some gum as well. (In between, not together!)
> Grab a calc pad and make a list of all the things you would rather be doing than sitting there at work with not much to do. For bonus points, circle words and use arrows to make it look work-related.
> Take the time to analyse your peers. Do a SWOT test on them. What are their strengths and weaknesses? Better yet, do one on yourself. Weakness: struggle to stay awake while trying to look busy when you’re really not.
> Have some fun with Excel Macros if you know how to write them. (Watch this space for some Macro Fun For Engineers in the coming days…) Write a macro on a spreadsheet you are working on so that when it opens a funny message comes up. It will give the person receiving it a nice surprise later! Make it look like a legit Excel message.
> Join the HubPages community. It’s not an online store, so it’s likely not blocked by SurfControl. Write a hub about anything you like (if you don’t want to do this online at work, then write an outline on that handy calc pad for now). Make sure to look me up and become my fan!
> Plan your weekend!
